Thinking Ahead
Noah puts the mattress protector on our new mattress. Joseph says, “Is that for me to pee on?” “NO!!!” (But, sort of, yes.)
Question for the Baby
“Can I tell him something?”
“Her.”
“Can I tell her something?”
“Sure.”
Joseph looks at my belly and puts his hand on it. “When are you coming out?”
“June!” I say in a high voice. He giggles.
Lonely Poop
Warning (as indicated by the title): Poop talk.
Joseph looks into the toilet…a solitary turd floats. “It is lonely,” he laments. “I need to make another one to keep it company so it won’t be lonely.” He tries hard. He succeeds. Lonely no more! “Bye Poop Family. Have a nice weekend!” Wave. Flush.
Big Brother Gets Ready
“Joseph, we’re going to having a baby girl! You will have a little sister.”
“I want a brother.”
“No, you get to be the big brother.”
“Oh!” (He likes this idea.)
“What do you think we should name her?”
“We should name her…Balloon!”
“Well, that is a good idea! You will have to teach her things, you know. What kind of things are you going to teach her?”
“I will teach her how to play dominoes!”
Joseph Makes a Funny
Joseph holds up a roll of blue painter’s tape:
“Is this GOOSE TAPE?” he laughs. He knows he made a joke! “I mean DUCK TAPE!” ha ha. We don’t talk about duck vs. duct…he is proud of his funny moment.
Quiet Pee
Joseph had an accident during naptime at school yesterday. (Teacher told me this morning that he told her he had to pee but since he had just spent 15 minutes sitting on the potty, she figured he was trying to avoid nap and told him to lay down…oops! Can’t blame her, but she felt badly.)
But, before I knew all that I figured he peed in his sleep (fairly common occurrence) and asked, “Joseph, doesn’t it wake you up when you pee when you are sleeping?”
“No,” he explained, “It’s not loud.”
True enough.
Sea Captains
“Sea captains don’t cry they just make repairs.”
(I have yet to figure out where he picked this one up!)
Thinking of Mommy
“Mommy, I saved you some of my chocolate milk.” (He treasures this special treat like it’s gold…I kind of want to save it forever.)
Shadow
“When you are smiling your shadow is not smiling.”
Just Trying to Get a Few Details Straight
“Mom, do dogs have penises?”
“Boy dogs do.”
“Do girl cats have penises?”
“No.”
“Do they pee?”
“Yes.”
“Where does it come out?”
“Somewhere else. Hey! Look at those Christmas lights!”
“Oooohhh!”
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