A Part of Some System
J: Hey mom, I’m part of an immune system.
Me: An immune system?
J: Yeah, if you buy something, you are part of it. Like I bought that truck.
Me: You mean you are part of the economy?
J: Oh yeah. The economy.
Me: Where’d you learn that?
J: A movie.
Me: What was the movie about?
J: What I’m a part of.
Me: What else are you a part of?
J: Nothing. Well, the family.
Me: How about the economy?
J: Just the family and the economy.
Me: So how does it feel to be part of two things?
J: At first I didn’t even know I was a part of something.
A Maddie Gem
“Everything is different. But everything is the same.”
Name Calling
M: Moommmmm! Joseph called me a baby!!
J: Well, she called me a woman! Baby!
M: Woman!
Baby Shower and Names
Me: So Maddie, your class is going to have a baby shower for Miss Heather tomorrow. Do you know what a baby shower is?
M: It’s where you wash the babies. You wash their heads, like this. (She demonstrates.)
Me: No… Joseph, do you know?
J: It’s where the person having the baby opens presents. Then you talk.
Me: Do you guys know what Miss Heather is going to name her baby? It is going to be a girl.
M: No.
J: Maurice?
Me: Maurice, really? That’s your guess?
J: Yeah. Maurice!
Me: No. Savannah. Savannah Jean.
J: You mean, like a caravan of bulls?
Me: What is a caravan of bulls?
J: Well, what’s a caravan?
Me: A line.
J: Ok, yeah, then a line of bulls. Why does her name mean a line of bulls?
Me: It doesn’t. It’s just a cute name.
J: But I thought you said a caravan was a line?
(A few minutes later)
Me: So do you remember what I said the baby’s name will be?
M: No.
J: Victoria!
Me: Really?
M: Jeans?
J: Jane. Jane Smith!
Maddie Muscles
From Maddie’s teacher: “Maddie is a good wrestler and can really hold her own!” Hmmm…
Wooden Locks
Joseph was brushing my hair (love that!) and he says: Mom, your hair is sooo beautiful. It’s like a wood floor.
Goldfish
Maddie told her teacher that “Joseph is not fond of goldfish crackers.” This is true…and confusing for Maddie, who considers goldfish crackers a staple.
Dinner Games
Noah has a game he’s started at dinner, to see who can go the longest without spilling anything off his or her plate. Competition is fierce.
Noah: “Maddie, remember, you can’t let any food get off your plate.”
Maddie: “Daddy, how am I going to eat if I can’t get the food off my plate?”
(Touché, Mads, touché.)
Noah, to me: “And I thought one of them might be like me.”
(Nope.)
Maddie Reads
Maddie comes running in, very excited. “Guys! Want me to read you my book?”
“Yes!” Joseph and I say.
“Ok,” Maddie says, “But I’m going to need a little help because, well, I can’t read.”
Controlling the Deer Population
I was whistling and calling for Joseph, he finally comes running up from the side of the house. “There you are! Where have you been?”
“Mom, you’ll never guess, but I sterilized a deer!”
“What? How? What? What do you mean?!”
“Yeah, I did, now it can’t have babies!”
“How exactly did you sterilize a deer?”
“Like this.” He stands still and STARES straight ahead. “I just did that and the deer did this…” He goes down on all fours and stomps his hands. “That’s it! Stare-ilized.”
Recent Comments